weddings galore
2002-09-07 at 8:06 p.m.

I feel so lost here, trying to catch up on all my fav d-landers. Will take awhile I guess.

Ryan brought his mom to the Ranch last Friday. She is such a cool lady. I wish I could keep in touch with her without Ryan feeling wierd about it. But I guess I will try to a holidays and that wouldn't be so invading. I gave her a big hug when they left and then ryan hugged me too. I wanted to say "Thank you. Do you realize it has been about 2 months since you have had that close of contact with me?" But I didn't. It hurt, it felt good, it was frustrating. I brought them to my new place and realized what a dumbass I was for having a picture of us (taken after month one) hanging up bu my computer. I felt strange about that, but I guess if they know I am still nuts about him that's fine. I will be able to remove it one day and smile at the great memories. And we have had some great ones. The bad ones just stick out too much right now.

Yes, I am sitting up here while yet another wedding is taking place downstairs. This one I am not attending. The band is good, but my floors are vibrating from the bass. Loooking forward to 10pm when they leave!

Went to my Nadia's bachelorette party Friday night. Was very freaked at trying to stay sober and able to drive home (20 miles in the mountains). I drank beer and kept my cool. Even after hitting 5 bars. Miss bride-to-be was a little hammered by the time I left. I made it home by midnight in great shape. I need to get a hobby and keep myself outta downtown Dgo, that's for sure.

The wedding is tomorrow and I agreed to help decorate. I went to town today and got a new dress so, I must say tomorrow I will be looking quite spectacular. Just need to do my toes in some shade of purple by 2pm.

Also saw Cos today while getting movies. I hid behind the Horror aisle when I saw him, just so I could stare at those calves and not feel awkward if I had to talk to him. I haven't seen him since that incredible night in January. that was a nice boost for the day.

Having a great weekend. Learning to NOT self-medicate to heal. Learnig how to relax, how to just sit and watch the trees move in the wind, or just sit and do nothing. Also been having wonderful dreams lately.

Life is good in my Colorado town.