I love that fool!
2002-09-18 at 8:36 p.m.

So this cold has got me down. way down.

I just want to get to bed, however, we have a dinner thing going on downstairs. I DID get the prime rib scraps for my ex-puppies.

So tomorrow I meet Ryan for dinner. I am feeling like we are signing divorce papers or something!? The final conflict. The end of it all. What the hell is that all about? Maybe I will get my deposit check, etc then. Who knows.

I had the weirdest dream about him last night. I was taking my helicopter mobile thing (it is more like a go-cart helicoper thing in my dreams) and then I cross over this mountain and realize we are invaded by something. Tons of planes and helicopters shooting at people. Well, the person I was with (have no idea who it was right now) and I crash my little heli-thing right before we get to the 'war zone'. Next thing I know I wind up at a friends house and Ryan is there. We are still broken up, but we are moving out (of our friends house?) together and it is weird. Later he is laying on the floor of my friends living room with me on top of him and asks me if I want to sleep with him. Well, in my dream I think NOT, get up and leave, but then I woke up (literally) and I wish I had. I miss that fool!!

Maybe tomorrow I will confirm my reasons for leaving? I doubt it. I will always love that man, no matter what. I wish we could continue this from where we are, but I think he has forgotten me already. Oh well. Life goes on I guess!?