pass the snuggling
2002-09-20 at 11:41 a.m.

My grandma wrote me the most incredible letter enclosed in my birthday card.

Among the sweet, supportive grandmotherly words, she included the quote "And this too shall pass".

And it has.

Last night I met Ryan for dinner at an expensive restaurant of which I have several gift certificates. when he got there he gave me a kiss on the cheek. He looked great, grew a goatee and I think lost some weight.

We had drinks and a very nice dinner with our conversation. It seems things have really changed for him at work with the boss getting fired. He now will be getting a nice commission on his DSL sales and morale is up. And guess who his new boss is? Yes, his new roommate. but they are dealing very well.

he also is pursuing the grant for a helping dog center. I was so proud of the things he was sharing. He seems a little stronger now and is going after what he wants.

After dinner we went to our 'old' favorite after dinner bar for a drink. He wa charming and chivalrous. I noticed I was getting a little buzz and he offered me one of the spare bedrooms. I took politely agreed that an $8 parking ticket would be cheaper than a DUI. Don't get the wrong idea, I never once thought it was leading to anything more than a place to sleep.

We walked around downtown and he taught me some of the leader dog techniques that he used to train with. I lead him around downtown with his eyes closed. Weird, but fun.

It was so nice to see the dogs again. He re-arranged our old bedroom and office into a very cozy living area when his mom was here. It was very nice. He even got a fish he named (something very long).

Ryan put my old bed in the office area and had the futon couch in the bedroom like a living room. he pulled out the futon so we could watch a movie. Normally our movie attention span is around 10 minutes before we are both sleeping. When he layed down he had his arm over his head and he patted his armpit for me to snuggle with him. (was I with the same person that I just left 2 weeks ago??) It was wonderful snuggling with him. Him actually touching me and pulling me close.

"So, are you gonna kiss me?" he asked.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" I asked.

A minute later we enjoyed a super full- on kiss. Then snuggled all night as we slept.

I must say it was like the first 2 months I knew him. I was amazed that we could be so mean to eachother in the past and then share a night of snuggling. It really made my heart feel better knowing that we can get past the bitterness and be human to one another.

I made him coffee wile he was in the shower and then he dropped me at my car on his way to work. He said "let me know when you want to get together again." I know we will never get back together as we were, but I feel like I finally had some closure in some way. I will still love that fool, but can remember that it doesn't work for us. that will keep me strong.

I did my grocery shopping and got some movies before the long trip to the country. I am doing a wedding tonight, so have someone working for me in the office. I almost feel guilty for being here and not up at the ranch. (I said ALMOST feel guilty.)

"And this too shall pass."

It has, now bring on the next..