not trailer trash, really!
2002-10-02 at 7:15 p.m.

Now that TMB has ruined my exciting entry about last weekend I shall give you a regular update....

I moved (yes, again) to the Riverhouse which is only 3/4 mile from my old place. It is a charming turn of the century house. 2 bedrooms and very COZy (i.o.w. tiny!)

But Bunny and I have settled quite nicely that first night until my boss sugeested I move to the trailer they own 5 miles up the road. "So you won't have to find a place in April....You can get settled with all your own stuff and never have to move again until you build your house." Well, he never offered the trailer to me to start, thinking I would never be caught dead in a trailer park. Well, Dave....you are half right! But it IS a huge place, the first one in the 'park' so it faces the mountain and not other trailers. Plus, Dave is mr. Gardener and has landscaped the place to the hilt. But I am still pissed. I mean, I spent 12 hours on monday moving to THIS place (which includes moving all their furniture to the Ranch. My thighs burning from the cathedral flights of stairs I climbed.) Let's just say it wasn't a good time to suggest I move there in 2 WEEKS! But I can't look a gift horse in the mouth. I don't pay rent and he knows I am pissed so has been appeasing me with promises of redecorating as I desire and use of anything they are not using on the Ranch. I think I will be able to handle it, I guess...

Ryan heard a little of my weekend escapade and has sent me interesting emails. (His friends were at the bar while I was). He actually sounded pised and jealous. What's THAT all about? I thought I was the one in love with HIM? I talked with him briefly today and he was supposed to come for dinner, but couldn't make it. (needed to collect his thoughts??) We rescheduled for tomorrow night. "So, are we going to talk about what we discussed today?" he asked tonight. Well, was he talking about my indiscretions or about US? Who knows. I wanted to throw back with, "Well, how do you think I felt when you stayed out all night and I knew you were at the whore's house?" Whatever! I would like to be at a point with him that we are adults and realize we both have the capacity to date other people. I mean, come on, he is the one that can (couldn't?) stand ME? It reminds me of my favorite song by Alicia Keys "I keeeeep on faaalllllin' iiinnnnnn and ouuuut, with a you" or whatever it's called. Sometimes I love him, sometimes he makes me blue. And I am sure it will always be like that. I thought I had the 'closure' thing when I stayed at his house. I really thought "Great! We CAN be friends after all the crap." Maybe we can't!?

Anywhoooo, I will loook absolutely fabulous tomorrow night regardless:)

My new office space (well, for the next 2 weeks) is on the sun porch. It is wodnerful. Tons of windows overlooking the dried-up river. lol. I am very grateful for what life has given me since I left him. I was always jealous of my cousin who can fall into a pile of shit and come out smelling like a rose. But I realize now that everyone has different "good stuff". I have a great job, great boss's that are very gracious and kind, great family that will hopefully understand when I tell them I can't handle coming to Michigan for Christmas, a bunny kitty that is healthy, happy, and loves her momma, and real savings account (yes, SAVINGS now), and a great place no matter where I live. Sorry, trailer people, I never wanted to do it. But I will not be trailer trash, but trailer recycle bin.

It's all good!