On to a fresher me
2004-08-16 at 8:57 p.m.

So Monday has arrived. The day I quit drinking, and smoking. Well, I have 2 smokes left and am cherishing them until the very last minute. I wanted so badley to stop at the wine store and get a bottle of Rosemont Shiraz/Cab. BUt I didn't. I figured since I only have a few hours left of night before I hit the hay, I will make it. It has been a helluva day. I was emotional and frustrated and happy...every 5 minutes. And I am not even on the rag anymore. I think since I am not on the Pill anymore it may have contributed, and I no likey!

I updated my profile on Match.com and Yahoo Personals. Not subscribed, just updated. And have I gotten the losers from Hell lately. My favorite is from Mr. 20 year old from my small town who "just wants to have some fun!" Well, mr. post pre-teen.. this one is not gonna give it to ya. Plus, I think the 16 year age differenc may show a little when we sit downt ot alk politics or music (shit, you were just born when my favorite music was out!) The other is a 24 yr. old Mormon from Utah. Indian I believe, name of Nareen. May be related to the 7-11 owner from the Simpsons, not sure. Am I a magnet or something?

Otherwise I have chatted with 2 hopefuls. One hasn't responded in over a week, so I hope I didn't send him running. Of course, I have the 'cute' pics on my profile. My hair was about 8 inches shorter and I was thinner. Won't THEY be surprised...LOL I should write a book though. I have talked about the personals thing before and I can't believe the experiences I have had. Are we all THAT desperate? OK, maybe I am..

So, ryan came over on Friday. "Happened to be in town" (Ummm, Ryan..remember those 3 dogs at home holding their pee for dad to come home?) We watched a movie and he showed me his new G4 laptop. He is totally obsessed with this. So, he booted her (Yes, a MAC is a her because MACs ROCK!) up and his mail opened. And I noticed some interesting mail message from an Erin. "Missing you....." and the other I forgot because I was dumbfounded. What, a woman you are not sharing news of with me? Well, there is the same 'Erin' he happens to work with. And I believe her to be married. So, then why was I instantly jealous?? 1. he is not sharing 2. maybe I am still frickin in love with the fool? 3. Read my Ryan archives and tell me I am a stupid ASS! for feeling that way. So, we had pizza and watched a movie. REPLAY...I watched a movie while he fell asleep. Oh, just like old times huh??

So, on the greener pastures, and pinker lungs, and fresher livers, and lower blood pressure, and a nice smelling car. I only hope I can do it!!