Crap
2008-06-29 at 2:31 p.m.

So I am now in my new place. 2 bedrooms, air, and awesome yard! And I have a cute kitty that comes to visit me every day.

I have been seeing a therapist who I thought was great until she started telling me in our last session that she thinks I need to go to rehab. But I can't! I can't let ppl know that I am this raving alcoholic. I have only been in my new town for a year a couple days ago. I have started this new life and trying to keep it together.
Last month I got a shot of Vivitrol. It is supposed to remove the cravings for alcohol. Well, let's just say that 4 days of being sick in bed will do much to reduce your cravings. Then a week later I developed a huge lump at the injection site and many doctor visits and an excruciating visit to the emergency room to try and drain it, I am left with an avocado sized lump in my ass that burns, stings and is just a 'pain in the ass'. I cannot believe this is happening. I can't even wear pants. So I guess that helps me dress up for work LOL I have contacted an attorney to see if I have any legal recourse since I don't have insurance. It sucks because I was just on the right track as far as being financially stable and well. Now I will have thousands of dollars of medical bills and in debt AGAIN!
All because I was trying to quit drinking. So, now a month later the injection is pretty much out of my system, I'm depressed and still drinking. There are no good AA meetings in my city so that is frustrating. And I continue my facade of how great my life is with my friends and acquaintances.

A friends of mine since I moved here just died from the same thing my sperm donor dad died of. It brought back many memories and things that I obviously didn't deal with since his death. And since I have been laid up with this butt hump I was unable to go to the memorial service.

Life sucks sometimes, but I guess you just need to deal with them and get through it. Still sucks! But what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? yeah, right....

SO, I go one with my life trying to figure out what I have made of my almost 40 years. It is kind of depressing.